In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
did you just send me my own nude
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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