My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
