i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
