i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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