I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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