I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
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