Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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