Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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