her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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