I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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