eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
