he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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