turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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