I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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