piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
