So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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