exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
