i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
