I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
