and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
