I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
