eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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