and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
