I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
