I must be too annoying 4 u.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
