and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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