My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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