Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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