Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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