I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize