I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
