It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
