how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
