I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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