what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
