Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
