Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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