i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
