She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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