I want to walk on stilts...naked
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
