anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
