i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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