I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
