We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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