he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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