Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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