The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
As shirtless as possible
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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