3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
