the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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