WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i've created a new STD.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
